no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
