did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize