You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
