It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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