a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
