I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
