Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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