just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
