pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
