Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
