You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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