We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
