I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize