White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
