He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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