i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
