I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
