don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
