I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
