I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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