It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
