Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
