How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize