I need help removing her.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
