I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize