you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
