shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
