I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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