I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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