I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
