There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
