I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
