I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
