I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
