He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
