my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
