These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
