ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
