don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
