I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
