Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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