I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
