Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sponge bath it is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to fling myself into the sun
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
