I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
