I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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