glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
