He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The air was thick with penises
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
