Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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