so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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