haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
