Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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