? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
