omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
