u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
