you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
