i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
