her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
