Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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