I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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