I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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