I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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