New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
