so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
