i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
