this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize